Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
