Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
