id be glad to
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
