This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
