we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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