you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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