I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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