Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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