she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
