If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
