Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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