just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
