I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
