i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
