is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We have so much sex to catch up on
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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