idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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