Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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