what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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