Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
