Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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