Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
