am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
