Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
