Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
