is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
