Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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