Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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