if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
