I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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