The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
