Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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