Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
