Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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