I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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