you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
