Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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