There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
