I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize