Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i just google imaged poop.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
