i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
