His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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