question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
