i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
