I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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