Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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