Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
