I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize