all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
