did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
