This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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