I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
