doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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