Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
