I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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