wakey wakey hands off snakey
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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