Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Blood and glitter go together right?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
