so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
