My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
organizing the empties. That sober.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
