operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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