So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i think my cat just said my name.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
