can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
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