Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize