But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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