I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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