If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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