hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize