Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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